Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
we're making bets on your personal life
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
