i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize