I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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