I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
