we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
