you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
