its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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