Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize