Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
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