cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
