so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm always down for nudity.
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