Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
