my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
