dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he was CRYING into my vagina
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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