Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
