We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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