A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
40s are totally the cure
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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