Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
