he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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