Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
