do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
