well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
two words...techno handjob
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
