i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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