i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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