I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
