I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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