Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
