the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
