His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
