Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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