I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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