we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
if only i could text you this smell
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
