In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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