I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
