Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Randomize
