i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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