Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
