as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
