So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
