I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
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