How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
