Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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