so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
