so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just googled if crying burns calories
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
