So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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