that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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