Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
