i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
