I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
