I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
