I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
