so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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