Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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