i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
