hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
