The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
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