no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
