its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
