Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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