It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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