I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
