why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
