You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
