He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
