We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize