i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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