If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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