Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
In America we eat man semen.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
