Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
