He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
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