if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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