Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
So squirting runs in the family.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
