we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
