hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
