like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
