Define "chronic" masturbator.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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